The Final Chapter

Apologies, as this is certainly coming months after it should have. However, I am finally getting around to typing up a Z-shaped bookend to 'An American Girl in Cochabamba'. I do this for you, my kind and devoted readers, for whom I wish I could continue living in South America and chronicling exciting adventures.

Alas, my year in Bolivia came to an end last November, and I made it back to New York in time to stuff my face with a traditional Thanksgiving feast.

Before leaving, I made the definitive decision not to return to Cochabamba in 2014. This was not because I disliked Bolivia or had had an awful experience during my AGiC days, but more so because I was ready to move on to new ventures. First and foremost, I wanted to have an extended stopover at home so I could spend time with family and friends, most of whom I had been distant from (both geographically and possibly emotionally) for many years. Following college, I chose to forgo the charm of small-town America for city life and foreign landscapes. These, I found, appealed to my senses in a way Middle-of-Nowhere, USA never could.

Additionally, I had felt a pang of guilt upon missing my niece's second birthday, and I vowed to stick around for her next one. I made good on this pledge, and I am very glad I did - not only because I was treated to Chuck E. Cheese mini-pizzas and the thrill of token-operated children's games, although that was doubtless a plus.

My plan was to live and work in a one-horse town for as long as I could stand, and devote what time I could to the family and friends from whom I had been apart. This lasted an impressive six months before I began to feel utterly entombed, and my mind started to wander where my body could not. As much as I would have liked to stay nearby my family, America - especially small-town America - and I had never seen eye-to-eye.

25 years on-and-off is a fair run, and no one can say I didn't give it the good 'ole college try. But, it was never meant to be, and I fancied a move back to my home country. I am very lucky in a number of ways, not least being that I arranged a long, drawn-out goodbye period before I actually left for England. I wanted to spend the time I had with my family, knowing it was be some time before I saw them again.

Additionally, I knew I had an extended family to return to in the UK. My aunts, uncles, cousins and their children all live within relative proximity to one another. Now I get to indulge in another, well-missed, side of my rather large extended family. Having a safety net await you at Heathrow makes the leap slightly less seismic.

So, perhaps not quite as daring as my Bolivian escapade, but a thrilling new chapter in my life all the same.

For those of you who are interested, I have put up a post re: the recent move (interwoven with musings on Bill Bryson and his own ex-pat exploits) on one of my other blogs. You can read that here: http://trynabeagrownup.blogspot.co.uk/2014/08/the-continent-i-lost.html and don't forget to continue following my latest adventures (and share them with your friends!) as I post them.

Thank you all for allowing me to share my personal reflections with you during this undertaking. What a fantastic journey 'An American Girl in Cochabamba' was!

And now, as my father would say, "Onwards and upwards!" - I'll be waiting for you on the other side.

- Jessica

My Food Map

Yes, this is going to be exactly what it sounds like. Whenever I go away for a long period of time, I like to plan what restaurants I'll be visiting and what meals I'll be eating AS SOON AS I GET BACK STATESIDE. Literally - I mean, on the way home from the airport.

Behold the route I shall follow while I enjoy America's favorite pastime: over-indulgence.

Oh, yeah - this is happening.

Overwhelmed? Let me take you through the list:

Phase One: Settling Back In

• On the drive home from the airport, we'll hit up a Dunkin' Donuts. I plan to gorge myself on donuts and bagels, because apparently 10 months in Bolivia hasn't been enough carbs.
• Head home to Dad's house where he will slave over spaghetti and lasagna and I will eat my body weight in parmesan cheese.

Phase Two: Local Favorites

• The Round Tuit is a must-have stop on my epic food journey. Dale will be surreptitiously pessimistic and the food will be amazing. Win-win. 
• Two words: Panera Bread. 
• Sticking around Kingston for some of Uncle Russ' famous home-cooking. Maybe he'll get me a cheesecake like he did for my farewell party (hint). 

Phase Three: The China Buffet, Part 1

• We now venture to Golden Ginza, the hibachi restaurant on the Rondout  in Kingston, where I will be wowed by onion volcanoes and extremely fast chopping. 
• Shoot up to Mass. for a visit to the Luau Hale Restaurant in Lenox. Scorpion bowls for starters and maybe some bowling on the way back (gotta work off those calories somehow!) 

Phase Four: Old-School Dining

• Also on the ride home: the Friendly's in West Springfield, MA. I'm going to get an ice cream with a face on it, because - why not?
• Like all good minions of the Queen, I fully intend on spending some time at a British pub (or at least a fairly-good replica of one): Limey's Pub in Canaan for some pints and classic shepherd's pie...or a bangers 'n mash...or...

Phase Five: The China Buffet, Part 2

• After a brief rest from the chinese/japanese restaurants, it's back to my hometown for some China Inn dumplings and fried rice. Of course, the Golden Wok in Millerton will have to complement, because we all know their chicken and broccoli is way better than China Inn's. 

Phase Six: South of the Border

• While we're in Millerton we should probably stop by Salsa Fresca and get some mexican food. It would be rude not to say hi...

Phase Seven: Salute to Rocky and the Fresh Prince

• At some point in December, my sister and I plan to head down to Philadelphia (my old stomping ground). If anyone lets me leave the City of Brotherly Love without inhaling at least two cheesesteaks from Jim's on South Street, feel free to start making trouble in my neighborhood. 
• Final stop: Fado Irish Pub on Locust. Refer to the section on Limey's for my menu contemplations. 

Well, folks, that about does it. Feeling hungry yet? You know where I'll be...

About Bolivia

Here is a slightly-belated post to give you some basic information on the country of Bolivia. I wrote this for the school website, but that has not gone up yet. SO, it is going up on here instead.

Enjoy the post in English and in Spanish (below)

Official Name: Plurinational State of Bolivia

Capital: Sucre

Current President: Evo Morales (Socialist)

Languages Spoken: Spanish, Guarani, Aymara and Quechua

Currency and Exchange: Bolivianos (~7 BOB to 1 USD)

Bolivia is one of only two landlocked countries in South America; the country borders Paraguay (the second landlocked nation), Perú, Argentina, Chile and Brazil. Bolivia is home to over 200,000 square miles of Amazonian forest, as well as a portion of the Andes mountain range and Lake Titicaca. In addition to Spanish, which is widely spoken, Bolivia recognizes a total of 37 other native languages. Important holidays in Bolivia include Carnaval, Viernes Santo (Good Friday), Día de la Patria (Independence Day), and Todos Santos (All Saint's Day). 

The country of Bolivia is divided into nine territories, referred to a 'departments': Pando, La Paz, Beni, Cochabamba, Santa Cruz, Oruro, Potosí, Chuquisaca and Tarija. Although the city of Sucre is considered the constitutional capital, La Paz and Santa Cruz are the two most densely populated cities in Bolivia. Oruro is another well-known city, famous for its Carnaval celebrations in February. 

Colegio Despertad is located in the central department of Cochabamba, and the city is Bolivia's third-largest. Cochabamba is best known for its temperate climate and El Cristo de la Concordia, the word's tallest statue of Jesus Christ.* The department of Cochabamba also boats three national parks: Carrasco National Park, Tunari National Park and Isiboro Sécure National park. 

* Many believe that the statue of Jesus Christ in Río de Janero (Brazil) is the tallest statue of its kind. However, Cochabamba's statue is considered taller by official standards because the pedestals are not not counted as part of the statue itself.

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Bolivia es uno de los países de Sud America sin litoral; el pais limita con Paraguay (la segunda nación sin litoral), Perú, Argentina, Chile y Brasil. Bolivia es hogar de mas de 200,000 millas cuadradas de selva Amazonica, así como una parte de la cordillera de los Andes y el Lago Titicaca. Ademas de español, que es hablado por la mayoria, Bolivia reconoce un total de 37 lenguas nativas. 

Feriados importantes en Bolivia incluyen a Carnavales, Viernes Santo, Día de la Patria y Todos Santos. El pais de Bolivia está dividido en nueve territorios denominados "departamentos": Pando, La Paz, Beni, Cochabamba, Santa Cruz, Oruro, Potosí, Chuquisaca y Tarija. Aunque la ciudad de Sucre es considerada la capital constitucional, La Paz y Santa Cruz son las dos ciudades mas densamente pobladas de Bolivia. Oruro es otra ciudad muy conocida, famosa por sus celebraciones de Carnavales en Febrero. 

El Colegio Despertad está ubicado en el departamento central de Cochabamba, y la tercera ciudad mas grande de Bolivia. Cochabamba es conocida pur su clima templado y El Cristo de la Concordia, la estatua mas alta de Jesucristo en el mundo. El departamento de Cochabamba también cuenta con tres parques nacionales: el Parque Nacional Carrasco, Parque Nacional Tunari y Parque Nacional Isiboro Sécure. 

Oruro: Buses, Hostels and Restaurants

I recently took a mini-vacation out of Cochabamba. Many of the country's hot-spot cities are set rather far apart, but all major cities are easily accessible by bus. Oruro is a 4 hour drive from Cbba, but if your bus makes a lot of stops or hits traffic it may take 4 1/2 to 5 hours. 

Here is some basic information about my trip to Oruro: how I got there and back, where I stayed and where I ate. If you are planning on visiting Oruro, this will be a good guide for your stay. 

Buses

Route: Cochabamba --> Oruro

Company: Naser

Cost: Bs. 25 for a semi-cama seat

Time: 4 hours and 40 minutes

This bus left a little late (10.17 instead of 10 a.m.), but the semi-cama seat was very comfortable and once we were on the road we made good time. The price was also very good for this service and trip length. The only hiccoughs were when one of the drivers jumped off the moving bus to buy a watermelon (and subsequently jumped back on the still-moving bus), and when a herd of donkeys slowed our progress along one of the roads. Other than that - smooth sailing.

I definitely recommend Naser buses. 

** The Cochabamba bus terminal charges a tax of bs. 2.50 for all outbound journeys. Tickets can be bought separately at a kiosk near the front entrance. **

Route: Oruro --> Cochabamba 

Company: Trans-Azul

Cost: Bs. 30 for a normal seat

Time: 5 hours

I switched bus companies on the way back to Cbba because Naser did not have a 5 p.m. bus scheduled. This bus left right on time and the seat was reasonably comfortable, however it was a little overpriced for a non-cama seat. Normally buses in Bolivia have their "regular" seats upstairs and their semi-cama or cam seats downstairs; however, I do not believe this particular bus had a bottom floor. That meant that only regular seats were available. Additionally, this bus insisted on playing music and then movies, which I personally dislike on a bus trip. The music was far too loud and was stopped and started over again four times; then a movie was put in, and that was stopped and started three times before the driver settled on 'World War Z' in Spanish, without subtitles. Afterward they showed 3/4 of a 'Fast and Furious' installment, also in Spanish and without subtitles. This bus made more stops than usual and the trip took a full five hours. 

I would not recommend this bus company. 

** The Oruro bus terminal charges a tax of bs. 1.50 for all outbound journeys. Tickets can be bought separately at the door to the bus dock, so be prepared to have your change ready alongside your ticket. **

Hostel

Name: Hostel Graciela / Explorer's Inn

Cost: Bs. 60 per person, per night

Address: Calle Herrera #47, between 6 de Agosto and Bacovick

Amenities: Private rooms, En-suite bathroom, Hot Water, Free Breakfast, Free Wi-fi, TV in Room, Great Staff

Website: http://www.explorersinnoruro.com/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Explorersinnoruro/311811778856284

Seeing that I was a solo traveler with a limited budget and only planned to stay one night in Oruro, I chose to go the cheapest route possible. Hostel Graciela is a fairly small hostel, but it offers two floors of private and group rooms, plus a breakfast room on the third floor. The free breakfast was typically South American: coffee and tea, yoghurt and bread. The room and bathroom were small, but clean, and the shower had very hot water. The wi-fi was not working during my stay, but I believe it usually does. The TV worked just fine and had 90 or so channels to choose from; I even found a news channel in English (CNN), which I appreciated. 

The clientele at Hostel Graciela ranged from young backpackers to full families, but the atmosphere was neither rowdy nor loud. I also managed to get to know two fellow travelers (24-year-old man and woman from England) and we spent the day seeing the sights of Oruro together. I felt very comfortable at Hostel Graciela and was not uneasy about interacting with the staff or the other travelers. 

The staff was very helpful and the younger staff spoke English. I would recommend this hostel as a cheap, comfortable place to crash for a few nights in Oruro. 

** Heads up: The staff at Hostel Graciela will take your picture outside of the hostel upon your departure. They use these for their Facebook page. **

Restaurants

Name: Bravo's Grill

Address: Calle Montesinas

Hours: 4 p.m. to 10.30 p.m. )Wednesday - Saturday) and noon 3 p.m. (Sunday)

Price Range: Bs. 35-72 per main dish

I enjoyed my dinner at Bravo's Grill in Oruro. The young woman at the desk in my hostel gave me directions to two different restaurants, one of which had been shut down and the other no one had heard of. So, I was stuck wandering around Oruro at 8 at night and stumbled across Bravo's Grill. 

The menu was fairly small, but comprehensive: A la Parilla (From the Grill), A la Carta, Pasta, Piqué (Small Dishes), Pescados y Mariscos (Fish and Seafood) and a complementary salad bar. The atmosphere was very quiet and low-key, especially for a saturday night (8.30-9.30) and most tables were couples. 

The waitress presented all drinks and the check on a small silver platter, which added a nice touch of class. She was very friendly and helpful regarding food and drink choices. 

Wine can be bought by the glass or by the bottle, and bottles of local wines (Campos de Solana) are offered in 375 ml or 750 ml portions. A 375 ml bottle of Campos de Solana runs about bs. 50, while a glass costs bs. 25; the wine glasses at Bravo's Grill are fairly small, so if you plan to have more than one glass you are better off getting a bottle. The pasta portions were huge (see below), although my waitress described them as "normal".

I took my leftovers back to the hostel

I would recommend Bravo's Grill for dinner in Oruro.

Name: Confitería Center

Price Range: Bs. 6-11 per small dishes; Bs. 50 per main dish

Confitería Center is nothing special, however, it was one of the only restaurants open at 1 in the afternoon. The menu includes empanadas, sandwiches and full plates. The sandwiches were not very large, but were tasty and filling. This restaurant also serves more "classic Bolivian" dishes, including Pique Macho.

The restaurant itself was pretty empty and service was, well…Bolivian. The only beer offered here was Huari, which is brewed in Oruro, and the only size was a liter bottle (bs. 16). Soft drinks and water were also available.

I would recommend Confitería Center if you are having trouble finding food elsewhere. 

** It should be noted that Oruro is not packed with restaurants and (in true Bolivian style) many are closed at random times of the day. I suggest finding a list of restaurants before you travel so you can be better prepared - and not starve. **

Spanish 101: What NOT to Say

Learning new languages can be a tricky business, especially since every language has its own rules and its own quirks. This can often lead to mistakes - usually fairly funny ones (you'll remember my own German verb mix-up from an earlier post 'Learning a New Language…'). 

However, if you are learning Spanish and wish to avoid some of the more common errors, here is a list of easily-confused words and phrases:

• Él (he) vs. El (masculine 'the')

What to Say: Él es un buen hombre.
What it Means: He is a good man.

What to Say: ¿Donde está el baño?
What it Means: Where is the bathroom?

• Tú (singular, informal 'you') vs. Tu (your)

What to Say: Tú estás tarde.
What it Means: You are late.

What to Say: Yo tengo tu mochila.
What it Means: I have your backpack.

** Look for a post on 'Tú/Tu/Tuyo/Usted' soon-to-come. Very easy to confuse, but not interchangeable at all **

• Éxito (success) vs. Salida (exit)

What to Say: ¿Donde está la salida?
What is Means: Where is the exit?

What NOT to say: ¿Donde está el éxito?
What it Means: Where is the success?

** I.E. the latter is basically nonsense **

• Cansado (tired) vs. Casado (married)

What to Say: Estoy cansado/a.
What it Means: I'm tired.

What to Say: Estoy casado/a.
What it Means: I'm married.

• Un Poquito (a little bit) vs. Un Piquito (little kiss)

What to Say: Si, yo hablo un poquito de Español.

What it Means: Yes, I speak a little Spanish.

What NOT to Say: Yo quiero un piquito.

What it Means: I want a little kiss.

** This one is a Bolivian colloquialism, I am told. But this did happen to me and people laughed; you've been warned. **

• Avergonzado (embarrassed) vs. Embarazada (pregnant)

What to Say: ¡Estoy muy avergonzado!

What it Means: I am so embarrassed/ashamed!

What to Say: ¡Estoy embarazada!

What it Means: I'm pregnant

What NOT to Say: ¡Estoy muy embarazada!

What it Means: I am so pregnant!

** Unless, you know...you are SUPER PREGNANT. But, if you're embarrassed/apologizing, don't use 'embarazada' **

• Mamá(s) (informal 'mothers') vs. Mamas (boobs)

What to Say: ¡Feliz Día de la Madre a mi mamá hermosa! 

What it Means: Happy Mother's Day to my beautiful mommy!

What NOT to Say: ¡Feliz Día de las Mamas a mi madre hermosa! 

What it Means: Happy Breasts Day to my my beautiful mother!

• Papá(s) (informal 'fathers') vs. Papa (potato)

What to Say: Mi papá es un maestro. 

What it Means: My dad is a teacher. 

What to Say: Yo quiero papas fritas.

What it Means: I want french fries.

What NOT to Say: Mi papa vive en Nueva York. 

What it Means: My potato lives in New York.

• Año (year) vs. Ano (anus)

What to Say: Tengo veinticuatro años.

What it Means: I am twenty-four years old.

What NOT to Say: Tengo veinticuatro anos.

What it Means: I have twenty-four anuses. 

** I apologize for the lewdness of this example, but this is not a mistake you want to make and the words are very similar! Unless you're completing your medical residence in a Spanish-speaking country, try to avoid use of the latter word at all costs. You're welcome. **

• Perro (dog) vs. Pero (but)

What to Say: Mi familia tiene dos perros, pero no tiene gatos. 

What it Means: My family has two dogs, but has no cats. 

• Perra (female dog / slang for 'bitch') vs. Pera (pear)

What to Say: ¿Tienes jugo de pera?

What it Means: Do you have pear juice?

What NOT to Say: ¿Tienes perras? 

What it Means: Do you have bitches? 

** Numbers 5 and 6 can be easily avoided, because the double R is a specific sound in Spanish. A word with a 'rr' should be pronounced by rolling the tongue. However, for those of us who were not blessed with such a talent, awkwardness ensues. **

• Sí (yes) vs. Si (if)

What to Say: Sí, tengo la película. 

What it Means: Yes, I have the movie.

What to Say: Yo voy, si quieres. 

What it Means: I am going, if you want. 

• Cerveza (beer) vs. Cereza (cherry)

What to say: ¿Quieres otra cerveza?

What it Means: Do you want another beer?

What to Say: Soy alérgico a las cerezas. 

What it Means: I am allergic to cherries. 

• Pato (duck) vs. Pavo (turkey)

What to Say: Un pato es una mascota rara. 

What it Means: A duck is a weird pet.

What to say: Mi madre cocina pavo el Día de Acción de Gracias.

What it Means: My mother cooks turkey on Thanksgiving. 

• Jamón (ham) vs. Jabón (soap)

What to Say: Quiero un sandwich de jamón.

What it Means: I want a ham sandwich.

What to Say: ¿Tenemos jabón en el baño?

What it Means: Do we have soap in the bathroom?

Bottom Ten: Bolivia

And now, as we are a fair and balanced blog, I present the Top Ten things I won't be missing when I leave Bolivia (a.k.a.: The Bottom Ten).

Top Ten Things I Won't Miss From Bolivia

1. Catcalls

I've traveled to a fair number of countries and I've lived in a major American city; however, over months of painstaking and well-documented research, I have determined that Bolivia is the worst place I have ever been in terms of men catcalling at women on the streets. A common occurrence for local women (especially on weekends and at night), the lewd behavior rate rises dramatically if you are a foreigner. Whistles, yelling out of passenger-side windows, verbal abuse once my back is turned - you name it, I've dealt with it here. One guy actually stopped his minivan (yeah…) and asked if I wanted to get in, while another chased me across traffic and a half-mile down the street to see if I wanted to "chat" (I didn't). But at least that man had the decency to hit on me to my face, unlike most others who pretend nothing happened when you shoot them the stink eye. Grow up, Bolivia. Grow. Up. 

2. The Foreign-Accent Syndrome

Approximately every other time I go to the grocery store one of the cashiers insists on acting like my three's (tres) sound like sixes (seis). One can only assume that this is because the two words rhyme in Spanish, but where on earth they are getting the 's' sound confused with the 'tr' sound is beyond me. The most frustrating thing about learning and using a foreign language is probably what I call "The Foreign Accent Syndrome", during which a local refuses to accept that you are speaking their language because you don't have the accent down perfectly. I hereby apologize for being physically incapable of rolling my R's or rattling off Spanish like it's my mother-tongue, but don't act like you don't understand me just because I'm a gringa. 

3. Spotty Internet Service

If numbers 3 an 4 occurred in the States, consumers would go insane and demand refunds. But when you live in developing areas, there are certain limitations you have to come to terms with. One of those things is poor internet service. This certainly isn't the case everywhere, but unless you pay for the utmost premium service (and most people and places don't), expect to lose your internet connection or have slow service fairly often. This wouldn't bother me so much if it didn't interfere directly with 1) video watching, because letting YouTube clips buffer  here can drive you insane, 2) my blogging, which I need to be able to save as I go along, and 3) Skyping home to my family. But, hey: there are worse things in life…

4. Spotty Water Service

…like when some of your water goes out and the rest stays on. Of course, there is no rhyme or reason to this, and the only conclusion I can draw is this: the shower, kitchen sink and backyard pump are all attached to one water system, while the bathroom toilet and sink are connected to something else. Why? I have no fricking clue. Personally, I'd prefer my utilities to crap out (pardon the pun) in this order: outdoor pump, kitchen sink, shower, bathroom sink and finally the toilet. But I never seem to get my way. Get it together, Bolivia - this is nonsense. 

5. Juice With Dinner

As I mentioned in a previous post (Jessica's Top Ten: Bolivia), Del Valle juice is delicious. However, I'm a goddamn grown-up and grown-ups don't drink apple juice with dinner. They. Just. Don't. (They don't drink chocolate milk, either, for the record). Although the occasional whipper-snapper (read: people around or under 30) will man up and order a light, yet refreshing-enough beer* with their meal, most people I know here imbibe one of the following: juice, soda or water. If you don't want to have an adult beverage with your food, then fine, but don't go around drinking juice with your steak or having a coke with every single meal. Apparently here most people find it "weird" to have beer or wine with dinner, but I'm pretty used to getting looked at like a freak, so I just do what I want. "Señor, una cerveza, por favor!"

*Seriously, Bolivia: where's all the real beer? Take a cue from Germany and do it right. 

6. Spanish-Dubbed TV

Not that I ever really want to be watching "Deadliest Catch" on TV, but if I do, don't voiceover the original speech in Spanish. Translated and dubbed TV and films are the bane of bi-lingual speakers the world over; for starters, the jokes and intricacies just doesn't translate well into other languages and the translations never seem to do a very good job. Every person I know here who speaks English would prefer to watch the original movie or show, rather than watch it with dubbing. Voiceovers take away from the main attraction and force your head to explode by focusing on one of two voices: the first, a tiny background voice and the second, a louder competing translation. When I watch Spanish movies, I keep the original language settings intact; why would I ruin the original by forcing a dumbed-down English voiceover into the mix?

7. Extremely Expensive Imports

Most foods and items that can be locally produced are pretty cheap in Bolivia. However, most supermarkets and stores insist on showing off their 'Imported Goods' section, where the prices are bound to skyrocket. Peanut butter, for example, doesn't get made in Bolivia. This means you have to buy a foreign brand such as Jif or Peter Pan; it also means you're going to get royally screwed at check-out. Parmesan cheese is another food item that grates me (get it?) here in Bolivia. Regarding the magical pasta-topper that is parmesan, I get two options: a 40g non-resealable bag imported from Argentina (Bs. 6.30), or a two-pound cylinder of Kraft parmesan (Bs. 112). Now, considering the fact that I put away approximately 200 bolivianos for groceries every week, I'm not about to spend 56% of that money on a hilariously oversized bottle of parmesan cheese. And don't get me wrong: I frickin' LOVE parmesan cheese, but that's just a stupid purchase. Apparently, having an option somewhere between teeny-tiny and Andre the Giant never occurred to local supermarket stockers. 

** Apple products are also incredibly expensive here. Although most people love to show off their fancy iPhones (unlocked and tampered with, of course), nobody owns MacBooks because its impossible to download pirated software onto them. Therefore, when my charger cord gave out, I had to go to an Apple store in Cocha where they charged me an outrageous $107 just for a new charger. My other option was to brave the most dangerous part of town where stolen goods are re-sold and hope that someone had been mugged of their MacBook charger. Not a very tempting offer. **

8. Beggars, Street Performers and Stoplight Sellers

Although larger American cities have their fair share of homeless men and women*, we don't have the abundance of child beggars and random jugglers that many developing nations seem to play host to. I found this to be the case in South Africa as well as Bolivia, and it is not uncommon in these places for poverty-stricken parents to send their kids out to earn a living. In Cocha, every street has at least one child selling candy, trying to wash car windows or asking for money from passerby. In addition to the kids, there are adults who sell items, beg for money or "entertain" you with otherwise useless skills such as fire-throwing and other acrobatic feats. Street performers also tend to get irrationally offended if you don't give them money, despite the fact that you never asked them to juggle for you in the first place. Incidentally, I found the number of people selling items or asking for money on the streets much lower in Perú and Chile, which suggests that their stronger economy also minimizes begging and unpaid performances. 

*Anyone else been heckled by the drug-addled woman on Broad Street in Philly, or am I just a special target?

** Don't even get me started on mariachi bands; if I wanted someone to come along and bring my conversation to a grinding halt, I'd hire an unfit P.E. teacher to come talk about sex-ed. I saw that in a movie once…**

9. Being a Teacher

Anyone who knows me well knows that I always said I would never be a teacher. Well, I guess Justin Bieber got one thing right when he touted the age-old adage of "Never Say Never" (thanks, Biebs). The offer of living abroad in South America (where I had always wanted to visit and which would force me to learn a new language) was just too alluring, so I figured I'd give it a shot and follow in my father's footsteps. Turns out, I was right all along. Some people are cut out to be teachers, but I'm just not one of them. The experience has been pretty awesome and has pushed me well out of my comfort zone, which is good; there are parts of my job that I love and teaching has proven to be extremely rewarding for me. However, I don't think I would want to do it for the rest of my life. I'm a firm believer that we only regret the experiences we didn't take, so I'm glad I took advantage and tried something new, fun and challenging. 

10. Hand-Washing My Clothes 

My first load of washing-machine washed and dryer dried clothes at home is going to be bliss. I'm awkwardly protective over my clothes and their cleanliness, so I dislike the fact that I have to use a dry cleaner for all my pants, shirts, etc. However, it would be pretty impossible to properly wash and dry all my clothes without that help, and the cleaners do a pretty good job. Those things that I can wash, I do, but that means an hour or more of hand-washing in the backyard basin for two-to-three days of clean-ish clothing. Human beings simply cannot wash clothes as well as a machine, and if you think you can, you're wrong (and crazy).* Some items are also impossible to hand-wash, such as sheets. Needless to say, my dad should expect a marked increase in the water bill for the first week or so that I'm home, enjoying the luxuries of first-world American living. 

* Blog post to help you hand-wash your clothes soon-to-come.

** It should also be noted that loose-leaf tea doesn't really exist in Bolivia…or least, I have yet to find it. Having been raised in a British household, this is an absolute atrocity. I eagerly await my first cup of properly-brewed Irish Breakfast tea upon my arrival home. Until then, I just have to close my eyes and think of England. For the record, I found loose-leaf tea in Santiago. Point: Chile.**

See also: Jessica's Top Ten - Bolivia and Jessica's Top Ten - U.S.A

Top Ten: Bolivia

So now you know about the Top Ten things I expect to be waiting for me when I wheel 80 pounds of luggage out of the arrivals gate at JFK (family: take notes). In case you missed it, you can read that installment here: Jessica's Top Ten - U.S.A. 

But, you might be wondering, those are the things you miss from home. What things will you miss from Bolivia once you actually go home?

Well, I'm so glad you asked that, random reader - who more-than-likely is really my mother (hey, Mom) - and here is the answer:

Top Ten Things I Will Miss From Bolivia

1. Salteñas

How to describe salteñas to someone who has never had one? For my British readers, they're *kinda* like a Cornish pasty…but not really. For my American readers, they're kinda like…nothing we really have at home. Unless you count shepherds' pie, which we also stole from the British. A salteña is a baked pastry that is filled with meat (chicken or beef), egg, peas, potato, broth and spices. Here at Los Castores you can get dulce (sweet), normal (a little spice), or picante (spicy); the latter two come with an olive inside, but you can throw that away, because it's nasty. The first weekend at home when I wake up and shout ¡Salteña Sábado! (Salteña Saturday!) is going to be one of the biggest let-downs of my life. 

2. "Easy" International Travel

Having been raised in the United States but also having traveled quite a bit, I am constantly reminded of how much easier the rest of the world has it. Europeans, Central and South Americans and Asians all (generally) live in locations that are considerably more conducive to international travel. For example, on my two week break, I traveled to Perú and Chile (read about our adventures here:) and the flights cost me $525 round-trip, including taxes. For the same price I can fly 3/4 of the way to England and then get booted out of the emergency exit somewhere over the northern edge of the Atlantic. I would call 'not-fairsies' but I'm 24 and the people at ticketing usually look down on me for behavior such as that. The moral of the story is this: if you happen to live in a part of the world where you border several other countries, PLEASE take advantage and enjoy the easy travel; if you don't have that option, try your best to take a big trip to somewhere far-far away and then hit several countries in one vacation. You won't get to do it a lot, so do it right. 

Cue international backlash in: 3, 2, 1…

3. Getting to Call People 'Gordito'

In America, it is generally frowned upon to run around shouting 'fatty!' at people in life. However, in Bolivia (and other Spanish-speaking countries?) the word gordito or gordita  (literally 'chubby' or 'little fat one') can be considered a term of endearment. For example, spray-painted on a wall around the corner from my apartment are the words 'Te amo, gordita' which some pimply-faced 15-year-old presumably tagged for his beloved GF. Apparently this is actually a nice thing to do for a loved one….but maybe not your abuelita or your mother-in-law. 

4. Extremely Cheap Mani/Pedis

Not much to say here expect that manicures in Cochabamba cost 20 bolivianos (~$3) and pedicures cost 30 bolivianos (~$4.50). To put this into perspective, a polish change in Philadelphia costs about $8, a manicure about $15 and a pedicure about $25…and then you have to add a tip. Tipping here is a not customary and happens more often in restaurants than anywhere else. When I go big and get my hair cut and a mani/pedi, it sets me back 120 bolivianos, or one fairly-priced U.S. manicure and half the tip. 

5. Awkward Bi-Language Interactions

Sure, my Spanish is getting better and I can have conversations with friends and store clerks when I want/need to; however, living in a country where you are not fluent in the local lingo and most people don't speak English can pose its fair share of problems. See: trying to explain different vitamins at the pharmacy when you forgot to look up the Spanish word for calcium prior to your visit. For those of you out there with similar issues, Google image search is a godsend. Most South American countries import U.S. products if it is an uncommon item, so the packaging will look the same or similar and you can get your point across and not end up with foot creme when all you wanted was some St. John's Wort. 

6. Extremely Cheap Rent

When I lived in Philadelphia and I found a one-bedroom in the city for $725, I thought I'd really made it. Here I looked at several places, all somewhere around the Bs. 1,000-1,200 / month mark. In dollars that's about $150-175. Depending on your city and how nice the apartment is (and whether it is furnished or not), you might pay as much as $250. Now, given my $500 / month salary that kind of rent can be pretty steep, however, not unmanageable. In the end I found a house with an empty bottom floor and now I rent my own bedroom, mini-living room, kitchen and bathroom (plus storage space) for 550 bolivianos ($80) a month. Yeah, you read that right. But hey - don't forget the whopping 80 bolivianos I set aside for utilities in addition to my rent. That really breaks the bank. 

7. Silpancho

Bolivianos love, love, love their carbs. And silpancho is a perfect example. This dish comes with rice and thick-cut french fries on the bottom, a thinly-sliced piece of meat covering that and a fried egg on top. Add in the tiny sliced onions and you're golden. Plus, if you throw all that crap into a bun, you get trancapecho - another traditional meal with even more carbs! 

8. Extremely Cheap Cab Fares

Okay, so we know spa services and rent are cheap, but what about the taxi cabs? You're in luck, my friend, because not only are the taxi fares cheap and unmetered, they can sometimes be haggled down. This usually depends on the journey and number of passengers. A normal cab ride from one part of town to another will cost about 7-8 bolivianos; a ride to the bus station (10 minutes without traffic, 20 minutes in a jam) is about 15 bolivianos. The highest fare I have ever paid in Bolivia was in La Paz, where a taxi from the airport to the bus station (25-30 minutes) cost me 60 bolivianos. In Cocha things are a little cheaper than La Paz, so don't pay more than 10 bolivianos for a basic cab ride and always agree on a price with the driver before you get in.

9. Del Valle Juice

Bolivia proudly presents Jugo Del Valle (Juice of the Valley) to the masses! Well…to the Bolivian masses. These juices are hecho en Bolivia (made in Bolivia) and are delicious. As most Bolivians do not drink beer or wine with meals, juice becomes the most common beverage to see out at a restaurant. They come in a variety of flavors including manzana (apple), durazno (peach) and tumbo (a local fruit we don't have in the States, similar to passionfruit). 

10. My Awesome Pink Car Phone

Story time: so when I was first in Bolivia and it dawned on us that there was absolutely, unequivocally no way to make my iPhone work (thanks, Verizon), I had to go out to la cancha and buy a mobile phone with a SIM card. I browsed and I compared and eventually I settled on a practical model imported from China, which looks like this:

The headlights light up and when the phone turns on or off it makes a very loud revving noise. The phone also comes with one "non-ringtone ringtone" so when people call me it plays Lady Gaga's 'Bad Romance' because, damnit, I demand to be respected by my students and my colleagues. Who else thinks this phone did the trick? No one? Awesome…

…Then it's not a real winter

Call me a nit-picker, but I'm getting a little sick of all these Cochabambinos bitching and moaning about how cold the "winter" is here. Having been raised in NW Connecticut, I have recently found myself saying things like "You babies wouldn't know winter if it hit you in the eye with an ice-scraper"…or something like that. 

In honor of that, I've decided to jot down a few of the ways that you can tell if your so-called "winter" is the real deal (head's up, Floridians: this one's gonna sting). 

- If this meme doesn't make sense to you...then it's not a real winter (and you need to spend more time on Youtube):

- If you've never been stuck in the house because the snow is too high to get the door open…then it's not a real winter.

- If you don't know what an ice-scraper is (and have at least one in your car)…then it's not a real winter.

- If you can leave laundry out on the line year-round…then it's not a real winter.

- If you can leave your windows open year-round…then it's not a real winter.

- If you can eat ice cream outside year-round…then it's not a real winter.

- If snow tires are non-existent where you live…then it's not a real winter.

- If you have to climb a mountain to see snow…then it's not a real winter.

- If you never see your breath EVER while outside (or inside)…then it's not a real winter.

- If your state/country doesn't have to pass laws about sand versus salt on the roads…then it's not a real winter.

- If you don't know how to make an at-home ice rink in your backyard…then it's not a real winter.

I'll Procrastinate...Tomorrow

If I have learned one thing living in - ahem - developing countries (their preferred terminology), it's that the things you want and need aren't always as accessible as they are at home. That doesn't mean that developing nations are deprived in any way, it just means that your hot water heater might break more often than it would living in New York City. It also means that the someone who can fix that heater for you is a tad harder to track down and hold accountable.

No matter how you slice it, some places come with their fair share of so-called "Third-World-Problems", and these are the decisions we make when we move or travel to faraway lands.

I experienced this re-revelation (one we tend to forget quickly when things are back to "normal") when I moved out of a friend's guest room and into the bottom floor of a large house shared with three other women. The former residence had proved full of nuisances for which my first-world palate was unaccustomed: shoddy internet, no washing machine, a less-than-spotless kitchen and - the greatest tragedy of all - hot water that came and went as it pleased. Now, most of these detractions I can live with, and despite being as internet-dependent as the next person, I would gladly trade time on Facebook for my daily hot shower.

Anyone who knows me well knows that I appreciate having a space to myself where I can retreat from the world as well as other people; having been deprived of that privacy as well as my scrub-and-soak time, I was not the happiest of campers. These, among other reasons (such as proximity to work), led me to go looking for a new abode to call my own.

And after I found one, how I longed for the month to end so I could venture forth, unpack my towel and rack up a nice, high water bill.

To my utmost dismay, I was instead greeted into my new residence by a stream of frigid water. How haughtily it poured from the shower head, refusing to warm as it had promised. "Why, God, why???" I cried aloud, falling to my knees. "Will I never enjoy the warmth of a steamy hot shower again?" (Okay…perhaps an exaggeration, but I was pretty pissed).

I knew all I had to do was tell my new housemates (who lived upstairs) about my predicament. However, two things held me back: first, I wasn't quite confident in my ability to explain the situation properly, what with my sub-par Spanish and their lack of English; second, when I had had similar problems in my previous living arrangement, my concerns had gone unnoticed and it had only created tension. Hoping to avoid a repeat offense, I bit my tongue and alternated employing the jump-in-jump-out method with the occasional hot shower at friend's apartment - all the while praying to the hot water gods to forgive whatever sin I had committed and magically restore my showers to me.

Alas, my memo to the water gods must have gotten lost in the shuffle and the hot water never came back. So, after three weeks, I plucked up the courage (and a translator) and brought my issue forth to the powers-that-be. And what happened? The girl apologized, said the heater must be broken and that they would bring someone in to fix it the next day. And they did.

Problem solved, just like that. I've had hot water ever since and now my biggest showering problem is finding that elusive balance between too hot and too cold.

I suppose the moral of the story is twofold. Not only should we all be aware of our self-destructive procrastination, but we would be doing ourselves a big favor by forgoing the concept of "I'll get to it tomorrow." Having a cold shower might not be the end-all and be-all of lifetime hardships, but if you can do something about it, then why put it off? A task easier said than done, of course, but to at least put forth the effort to change our hardwired habits is a start. And who knows? Maybe when you finally get around to that epic list of "Things I Want To Do" something great and unexpected will come out of it.

In addition to the anti-procrastination advice, I suggest this: take advantage of what you have when you have it. You never know when the proverbial hot water heater will break down, and the chances we lose rarely come back for a do-over. So just go out and do it: enjoy that hot shower while it's there; take that new job even though it scares the hell out of you; tell the person you like how you feel about them (unless they're with someone else - don't be that guy). In most cases, we genuinely have nothing to lose and - cliche alert - everything to gain. 

But who am I to lecture you on promptness and carpe diem? After all, I told myself this post would be up three weeks ago. 

Learning a New Language with Duolingo

UPDATED: May 10, 2013 (see below)

Once I master Spanish, it will become the third language in my linguistic repertoire (English being my native tongue and German the second); and yet being someone for whom secondary languages have never come easily, I am always striving to find the best way to learn and maintain foreign language comprehension. As an English literature major in college, I had no problem dissecting the so-called gibberish of Shakespeare's Elizabethan speeches, but declared my minor in German partially to force myself to continue taking classes in that field of study. Hamlet I had down pat, but the subtle mechanics of German grammar stump me to this day. By minoring in the language, I was able to keep my understanding somewhere around the 'pretty-damn-good' level; since then, as I am rarely presented with an opportunity to speak, read or write German, my comprehension has begun to slip ever-so-gently from my grasp. 

Of course, you say, you could just…keep up with it. I could indeed. But, as we all know, once the vengeful cycle of adult life kicks into gear, we find ourselves with less-and-less time for frivolous activities such as bettering ourselves by pushing our mental capacity to a new limit. Time after time, those little notions, all of the 'I wish I could learn to…' dreams fall by the wayside and we continue on with our "real" lives. Between work and friends and errands and the hobbies we already nurture, who has time to pick up a Gibson and learn the opening licks of a Red Hot Chili Peppers song? 

However, I am attempting to try take on new challenges and go out of my way to add skills to my mismatched collection of hobbies and interests. Therefore, having decided to take a job on another continent, I also allowed myself to force another new language - literally - down my own throat. Sitting at home in the States I never would have pushed myself to actually learn Spanish (unless I bought the Spanish Muzzy DVD's…if only so I could boast that I had Muzzy DVD's in my house). In addition, I would have had very few people willing to speak Spanish with me on a daily basis, dully riding it out as I fumbled through masculine and feminine noun conjugations in a coffee shop down in Old City. Aha! I said. But should I move to a Spanish-speaking country, I will learn the ins-and-outs in no time! 

Well, yes and no. A goodly plot, to be sure, but more easily said than done. Despite the fact that many of my daily encounters (food shopping, speaking with a student's parents, etc.) do force me to have mastered a most basic level of the language, I have been brutally reminded just how hard it can be to keep your chin up during the first few months of beginning a new skill. German, for example, was an overwhelmingly embarrassing experience for the first six months, at least. My high school teacher will no doubt remember one of the first tests I took, on which I managed to write the sentence 'I wear a desk to school' because I had failed to memorize both new sets of vocabulary properly. It took me a long time and a lot of hard work to feel that I really "spoke" German, and the same will be true for Spanish. Once I manage to gain a medium level of grammar and comprehension, the rest will fall into place over time - it's just getting there that's the tough part. 

So, what have I been doing to get this Spanish train on track? Well, besides getting a lot of help from my friends here and watching 'Never Been Kissed' and 'Mean Girls' with Spanish dubbing (purely for intellectual purposes, you understand), I have also been searching around trying different methods of online lessons. Having attempted more than one tutorial company, I think I have finally landed on a good program: duolingo.com and the Duolingo app on my iPhone have proven more consistent and more rewarding than any other method I have thus-far attempted. The app for your smartphone is a great option for on-the-go learning, although you may want to avoid practicing in public places, as the program will a) occasionally speak to you and b) ask you to respond and be recorded. The more expansive online portion of the application includes the option to practice words and concepts that you have experienced difficulty with, as well as specialists to chat with and ask questions and forums full of online language learners who would also like to know why those pesky, sexist masculine/feminine articles are necessary in this silly language you've chosen to pick up. 

I have already recommended the program to my father (shout out to mi padre) so we can learn Spanish together and he can brush up on his French (although why anyone would want to speak the language of cheese-eating-surrender-monkeys is beyond me). In addition, I use it occasionally for my English tutoring here in Bolivia. I would therefore like to recommend the app to all of you, whether you plan on finally mastering that new language or you just want to impress that girl at your office by pretending you can tell her romantically passionate things in Italian (when really you're saying, oh I don't know…'I wear a desk to school' - just an example). 

As always, when I find something I believe useful and think others would enjoy trying, I like to share it. So, here you have my review of DuoLingo, the online language program and smartphone app. I hope it helps you with all of your foreign language endeavors, however noble or shallow they may be. 

¡Suerte!

I wanted to update this post to add some pros and cons, with the hope that they will help any of you deciding whether or not to use this program. All apps, etc. have their good and bad qualities and this one may not be for you. Read on to see if it's something you're interested in.

* Also, if you want to know about other apps and sites I've tried, feel free to comment or e-mail me. Let me know what you want out of a language program and I'll see if I can help you find the right fit. *

PROS:

• Totally 100% free AND there are no ads
• Easy to use and follow, including smartphone apps and online tutorials
• FYI: Duolingo just launched their Android app. Not sure if they still need to work any bugs out, but good news for Droid users!
• The "Language Tree" guides you through your lessons, building each new skill on top of the last one you learned
• The tree won't let you move beyond certain levels until you have mastered the previous skill
• You can also test out of a skill if you feel you know it well enough and you can return to finished lessons to work more on that particular skill
• It's a fun way to learn a language by yourself and a good program to use instead of a class (or in addition to!) if you need to brush up on a language or learn a new one. 

CONS:

• One of my biggest pet peeves with Duolingo is that it doesn't give you any form of vocab lesson before you begin your quizzes. This means that during your study of a new skill, the app may throw a word at you that you've never seen, leaving you feeling bewildered and - frankly - a little stupid.
• Hint: if you don't know what a word is, you can linger over it and a little drop-down box will give you a cheat - this does not affect your overall score.
• The timed sessions make me want to throw my laptop out the nearest window
• To be fair, these sessions are optional and you are always given the choice to run your practice quizzes without a timer. 
• However, if you do choose to use a timed session to solidify one of your skills, remember that the clock moves VERY QUICKLY and pretty much the only way to "beat the timer" is to answer every question correctly. Therefore, it is sometimes better to take an extra beat and get the answer right, rather than rush and get them all wrong.

My suggestions?

First, you might as well give this program a try. As I said before, it won't work for everyone and maybe there is a better program out there for you. BUT, it's free and easy and you don't have to download anything (for the online lessons), so give it a go and see if you like it. 

Second, regarding the lack of vocab, you can try one of two things. I personally try and complete the session first and see how the new words go, even though I sometimes peek (especially if I think I know the translation and want the self-satisfaction of my own unacknowledged genius). After I complete a whole section, I go back to the vocab list they've created for me, and I write down the words I had trouble with. Alternatively, you can see what the category is (clothing, for example) and then go look up the most common/probable words beforehand. 

EITHER WAY, remember that you can get special help with the words you have difficulty with. To do this, click on your desired category; on the right side of the new page you will see a list of words you have been exposed to, beginning with the most recent. To practice one particular word, click on it and then select 'Practice Word'; to review all of your trouble words, choose either 'Practice Skill' or click 'View Full Vocabulary from ______' and then select 'Practice Weakest Words'. 

Third, if the timed practices are going to drive you bonkers, don't bother with them. It will be more detrimental to your learning process to spend 20 minutes attempting lessons and 30 minutes pulling your hair out and crying. I use the timed lessons sporadically, usually if I'm in a good mood and/or I feel I know that skill very well and can beat that demonic little clock. Plus, if you do get all the answers right, it gives you a reason to thrust your fist into the air Judd Nelson style and yell out the phrase of your choice (mine is "suck it, Spanish" - feel free to use it as you wish). 

One last thing - don't forget that the website has forums that you can access to ask questions or find questions others have already asked. Sometimes it helps to see how another student answers a question you had, rather than looking up the "textbook definition" and finding a dissertation on when to use 'y' versus 'e' for the conjunction 'a'. 

Operation: Titicaca

Well, it turns out one of my previous blog posts ('Before I Die…') was both aptly titled and auspiciously timed, considering my recent treacherous journey to visit the famous Copacabana. The good news is that this trip served to fulfill my lifelong goal of standing on the shore of Lake Titicaca and dividing my time equally between inspired awe and childish laughter - (if you don't think I spent a good portion of the vacation giggling over the name Titicaca then you obviously don't know me very well).  

In fact, when I first told mi family via a Skype-style family meeting of my plans to come live and work in Bolivia, my 26-year-old sister (who is also a mother, I might add) burst out with the verbal masterpiece: "HA! TITICACA!" Birds of a feather, I suppose…

I did, however, promise my beloved sister that I would visit the unfortunately-named landmark, and two weekends ago I set off from Cocha and headed out on my way to Copa (some local lingo for you world-savvy readers). 

Little did I know that getting to the lake would be one of the most trying adventures of my young life:

Morning dawned bright and chilly on Friday, March 8th; due to school-scheduled parent-teacher conferences, I was free of classes, but had a duty to meet with some of the parents brave enough to speak to the new gringa educating their children - all accompanied by a translator, of course. After a few hours of slightly awkward sit-downs, I threw my backpack into the car and we drove out to the nearby Cochabamba airport. Unsurprisingly, my attempt to purchase a flight to La Paz online the night before had been an epic BOA bust; but flights between La Paz and Cochabamba are frequent and not particularly expensive, so my host mother assured me we could buy the ticket at the airport. Once at the check-in desk, I experienced another foreign fumble: although I had "reserved" my seat with a 24-hour provision, BOA (Boliviana de Aviación) had decided instead to cancel my purchase and sell my seat to someone with a more reliable internet connection. 

We were asked to wait until 12.30 - the flight scheduled to take off at 12.55 - to see if there was a spare seat I could buy.  Finally, at 12.45, we were called to the front desk and I was awarded my well-earned seat aboard the airplane. Luckily, security at the Cochabamba airport is incredibly - shall we say - straightforward, and without any lines to wait in I was abroad the plane and belted in by 12.50. A whole five minutes to spare! 

On a side note, if you are ever flying within OR out of Bolivia, here are a few things you should know:

- BOA, Taca, TAM and LAN all fly into and out of Bolivia and are more likely to have short-distance flights that larger airlines do not provide

- It is usually cheaper to book your ticket online, so try and do that ahead of time if you can

- Airlines in South America charge additional taxes on all flights; these are not included with your booking fee. When you collect your ticket at the desk, they will give you two facturas (receipts), one for your ticket and one to pay your extra tax. You must bring this second receipt to a nearby counter and pay the charges to get your slip stamped. Bus stations do this as well.

- The normal fee for an in-country flight is about Bs 15, or approximately $2

- The fee for an inter-country flight can be as much as $25, but varies according to your departure airport

- The bus fee will only cost you Bs 2-5, which is less than $1

Now, back to the story.

The 35 minutes flight behind me, I could meet up with my two gringa friends and continue on with the next phase of Operation: Titicaca. I chose to take a taxi from the airport to Hotel Rosario, which cost me Bs 60 (about $9), for the sake of convenience. The La Paz airport is located roughly 13 km (8 miles) from the edge of town, which means any cab you take from the airport will cost you at least Bs 40 and your ride into town will take about 25 minutes. You can also try an take a trufi into la prada, which will cost you about Bs 5 instead. However, the trufis are tightly packed and if you have luggage and/or are traveling in a pair or a group, you should opt for the taxi cab. 

Once in La Paz we paid a visit to the Witches' Market, which is infamous for its interesting array of merchandise. The market (Mercado de las Brujas) is best known for its odd assortment of herbs, elixirs, plants and - most disturbing/fascinating to foreigners - dried llama fetuses. Luckily, I had been warned of the presence of such fetuses, but one can never truly be prepared to encounter a hanging, dead llama baby. Let me tell you now: they are not the most attractive trinket to bring home for family and friends. Dried llama fetuses are, however, very important in Aymara culture, and it is said that they are buried under new foundations as a symbol of offering to the Pachamama (see Yo Quiero un Oso for more information on this goddess of the earth).

Passing over the dried fetuses, we opted for some more classic shopping. Further down the market in La Paz there are dozens of stands and small boutiques, which sell all of the touristy paraphernalia you can imagine: from comical t-shirts to hand-woven (and usually very colorful!) jackets and ponchos to traditional Bolivian instruments, you can find it all in this section of the marketplace. A wide array of jewelry can be found in almost every shopfront and is a good gift idea if you are shopping for people back home; earrings are an especially nice gift, as they are hand-made and beautiful, and they are well-priced and can be easily packed into your luggage. Another favorite souvenir is the small totems that depict various emblems of Bolivia's traditional gods and goddesses. I admit to buying one for myself, feeling that Bs 10 is a pretty good bargain for a small stone idol that promises to bring me strength in my future endeavors. Plus, he's a cute little buddy that now adorns my nightstand. 

Just before 5 p.m. one friend and I headed to the bus terminal, leaving our third compañera on her own to trek back to the U.S. of A. If you are ever in La Paz and need to take a bus, be sure to tell your taxi driver what your destination is; we nearly got taken to the main terminal de buses where we would have found a myriad buses scheduled for Cochabamba, Sucre, Santa Cruz and many other popular locations, but not Copacabana! The "terminal" for Copa buses is more of an off-street idling zone, but a taxi driver will know how to take you where you need to go. There is a little office on the bus-side of the street where you can buy your tickets, and, depending on the time of day you travel, a one-way trip will cost you about Bs 25-30 ($3.50-4.50). Our bus was scheduled to depart at 5, which on Bolivian time ended up being 5.30; however,  even Bolivian buses and airplanes (especially major companies and routes) do often leave on time, so never bank on having extra time before a trip. 

All began smoothly on the trip and we even got to chatting with a young Argentinian man who was on his way to Lake Titicaca as well. The ride was quiet and fairly uneventful - that is, until we hit Tiquina. The Strait of Tiquina is a portion of the larger Lago Titicaca (Lake Titicaca) and must be crossed to continue on your journey to Copacabana. Unfortunately for travelers, this means unloading the bus, putting the bus onto a transport ferry and putting its passengers onto a separate small boat. Those heading to Copa by car can also pay to put their vehicle aboard the barge, although I cannot speak to the costs of a such a venture. For bus travelers, the boat ride across Lago Tiquina will cost you Bs 2 (one-way) and the ride is just over half a mile. After that, you will have to wait ashore for your bus to catch up with you. The boat ride and the shore can be very cold, windy and often rainy at night, so bring a padded windbreaker to stay warm. 

Once our bus did arrive safely back on the mainland, we were given the news: there was a strike taking place about half an hour down the road which would impede the remainder of our excursion. Despite the hour (it was now about 9 p.m.), we learned we would have to sit and wait it out. Alas, with nothing to do in the small town of Tiquina, our Argentinian friend and his amigo decided to regale the crowd with their guitars; some songs were traditional and others...not quite so. But it was a good time and helped us to survive the chilly and unexpected layover. Although we heard tell that the bus wouldn't depart until 3 a.m., our driver assured my friend (in a rather condescending tone) that we would leave at 10 and then kindly request of the protestors to dismantle and allow us to pass. 

An hour later we were on our way again, although we had little hope of swaying the strikers to put aside their road blockade. Not surprisingly, 30 minutes down the road, the bus paused, then stopped completely. Our driver turned off the lights and the engine, exited the vehicle, and left us alone without any instructions or any idea of how long we would be waiting on the cold, pitch-black bus. Upon texting the news to our friend back in La Paz, she warned us that we may not move again until morning. Indeed, all around us the Bolivianos were settling in for the long haul. Other than ourselves, our Argentinean buddy seemed to be the only person at all concerned by the sudden change in plans, and he and his friend opted to walk the rest of the way to Copa (30 more minutes by bus) - not a decision I would readily recommend, although he did survive the trek in one piece. 

At midnight, we realized that the strike had finally lifted. Buses and cars began passing on the other side of the road and the cars behind our bus were blinding us with their headlights as they swerved around our stationary bus. Excitement quickly turned to dismay as we remembered that our bus driver had, for all intents and purposes, abandoned us. Without knowing where he was, we had to sit and wait…again. At about 12.30 a taxi pulled up beside our bus and who should get out but our driver - fast food bag and all. As we resumed our drive around the fortuitous mountain roads, it didn't take long for the uneasy realization to set in: our bus driver was tipsy, to say the least. Holding our collective breath for the 20 minute ride, the bus twisted and turned, coming dangerously close to the sandy pullover as our Driver from Hell zipped in and out of lanes, overtaking the cars and other buses trundling down the mountainside. Needless to say, we were all relieved to jump off the bus in Copa and run away as quickly as our tired little legs would carry us. Too bad we now needed to find a hostel that had rooms available…and it was 1 in the morning. 

When we finally did find a hostel with open rooms - the dubiously-named Archangel Hostel - we were so excited we even took a photo of the wall full of unclaimed keys. Hey, us backpackers have to take what we can get! For the record, the hostel was not a bad place to stay for our two nights in Copacabana. A two-person room with a private bathroom cost us each Bs 40 per night, which is roughly $11 per person for a two-night visit. The water was admittedly freezing and the drainage system in the shower left much to be desired, but we didn't have to share our room or our toilet with strangers and the accommodations were clean and tidy. The man who runs the front desk of the Archangel Hostel also loves to chat and will talk your ear off about all the time he has spent in the United States and how he and his friends learned to speak "such good English". A lovely old man who also had a tendency to fall asleep at the desk at random hours of the day and night - and yes, I took a photo. 

One other thing to keep in mind: whenever you are hiking, hosteling or using a public bathroom in Bolivia, you will be expected to pay for your toilet paper. An odd concept to foreigners, but something we get used to pretty quickly. In a public bathroom at a parade or a bus station, this usually means a Bs 2 fee, but in a hostel it means you buy a roll or two of toilet tissue from the front desk. Our precious two-pack cost Bs 5, so if you are planning on backpacking and staying in several places, you might want to invest in some store-bought TP, which would end up being cheaper in the long run. 

The next morning we awoke at 8 a.m. to find it was raining. Not just any light drizzle, but a full-on downpour of atmospheric tears. Unable to force ourselves out of bed just to walk into a sheet of falling water, we lay snuggled in our (surprisingly warm) hostel beds for another hour - all the while bemoaning and cursing our fate, of course. After all, who comes to Copacabana, home of Sun Island, to walk around in the dreary, rainy weather? At 9 a.m. we dragged our butts out of bed and found a nice little "cafe" to enjoy a warm breakfast in. Head's up: when your breakfast in Bolivia claims to come with pancakes, expect something akin to a crepe adorned with an unknown sticky/sweet topping. Not unappealing, but certainly unexpected. 

During our breakfast the rain ceased its attack on our tiny seaside town and the sun began to come out and warm the streets. Our bellies full and our windbreakers un-donned, we headed back up Avenida 6 de Agosto to check out Copa's local cathedral, which sits across from Plaza 2 de Febrero. The church, formally known as Basílica de Neustra Señora de Copacabana (Basilica of Our Lady of Copacabana), was built in the 16th century and has since been a symbol of the city's religious devotion. Tourists and Bolivianos alike travel from around the continent and the world to pay homage to the Virgen de Copacabana and pray inside the Cathedral's chapel. Visitors are welcomed into the basilica every day and there is no entrance fee. 

Although a grand sight to behold, the Basílica was not our main reason for journeying all the way out to Copacabana. After a quick and unauthorized stop into the lakeshore military zone, we scoured the shore of Lake Titicaca to find a reasonably-priced tour of the area. We settled first on a private "tour" (I use the word tour lightly, as we were dropped off and left alone for 45 minutes) out to the Floating Islands (Islas Flotantes) which cost us Bs 40 (just under $6) each; after a 20 minute boat ride out to the islands and a rousing round of "Hey, look at our trucha!" (Copa natives are very proud of their locally-farmed trout), we were rowed ashore the Floating Islands in a small dingy and left to roam free. Word to the wise: there is not very much to do on the Isla Flotanes if you go without a guide. Tourist companies will offer package deals for locations like Copacabana and if you're dead set on seeing the Isla Flotanes, they're you're best bet. Sans guide, we wandered until we found a nice bevy of rocks onto which we could scramble and overlook more of the island and the lake beyond. If you do find yourself on the Floating Islands with little to entertain you, you can always do what we did and take a series of silly/pensive photos against a breathtaking backdrop. Certainly not a total waste of time - it is a beautiful island to visit.

Our total trip time to the Isla Flotanes took about and hour and a half (~20 minutes each way on a boat and ~45 spent walking around the island); however, if you plan to go out to the Isla del Sol (Island of the Sun) - and most tourists do - make sure you carve out a significant amount of time for your adventure. The boat ride to/from the island is about an hour each way and you'll spend a good hour or two on the island itself. Our boat ride cost Bs 20 ($3) roundtrip and if you are first in line you will usually be given the option to sit on top and enjoy the sun; there are also a good number of seats downstairs for those not quite ready for the Copa sunbeams. Either way, you will be seeing a good deal of sun once you reach the island, as trips only run in the morning and early afternoon. Read: bring sunscreen and water! 

In addition to our boat ride, we opted for a guided tour around the Isla, which cost us Bs 25 ($3.50) each. Be warned: you are not likely to find someone who can give you a tour in English! If you do not speak Spanish (or don't speak it very well), it helps to have a friend with you who does. I was lucky to be accompanied by one-such friend, and she was able to translate portions of the expedition and questions on my behalf. The guided tour is actually a good option in this particular tourist location for two reasons: firstly, you will learn more about the Isla del Sol than you would on your own, although no tour will be incredibly in-depth; secondly, your return boat will depart from a dock further down the island from where you landed and your guide will take you on a route that satisfies both your interest and your time crunch. Without a tour, you will need to either return to the boat on your own at the drop-off location (which severely cuts down on your time) or find your own way to the departure location. 

The Isla del Sol is one of six main islands that straddle the aquatic border between Peru and Bolivia. Isla del Sol is the most well-known of these islands and the most popular island for tourists to visit on their trips through Copacabana. In addition to its luminous weather, the island has a great deal of culture and history to offer its visitors. In ancient times, this island was inhabited by the Incas before later being discovered by Spanish settlers. The island was considered to be a sacred place by its inhabitants who believed that the sun god originated from this area. The site is littered with Inca ruins, including the remains of a small temple on the southeastern coast of the island. At the top of the famous Inca Steps lies la fuente - the Fountain of Youth. The fountain is certainly a welcome pit-stop following the steep and uneven trek up the Inca steps, which will wind most tourists, whether or not you consider yourself to be "in shape". The water that falls from the small fuente is drinkable and is said to have mystical healing powers; there is no fee to take a sip from the Fountain of Youth and its worth snapping a picture for your photo album. 

These days the sun-filled Isla is populated by a few hundred native families whose main source of income and work include farming, fishing and - of course - tourism. Within their self-subsistent economy, these locals trade with one another using a bartering system rather than an economic system based on monetary gain. They do, however, supplement these customs with the money they make off the major influx of foreigners that walk the rocky isla terrain each year. For a few bolivianos you can have your photo taken with one of the island's domesticated alpacas and local women display handmade items for sale up and down the walking paths of the mountain. Be warned: if you are seen taking a picture of the animals by a native, they may expect you to pay them for said "services"; however, you should really only pay for your photo if you are in the shot alongside the animal(s). In addition to the abundant herd of alpacas, you may find sheep, pigs and donkeys wandering around the island trails. 

One interesting fact about the Isla del Sol that often goes unsaid is that overnight accommodations are offered on the island itself. A number of small hostels combine the backpacker's main travel cravings: cheap shelter, squalid amenities and unparalleled views from your mountainside balcony. Had we known about these lodgings in advance, we would have spent a night on the island to gain the full Lago Titicaca experience. C'est la vie. 

Many tourists also wish to visit the Isla de la Luna (Island of the Moon), which is smaller than the Isla del Sol and is said to be the home of Viracocha, the foremost deity in Inca culture; according to mythology, Viracocha used the Isla de la Luna to control the movements of the moon and rise it into the sky every evening. 

Two days is really all you need to spend in Copacabana to get the full experience, as the islands are easy enough to visit by boat and the touristy nature of the town disallows for much true Bolivian dining or culture; the "beachfront" is not a traditional tanning beach and serves mainly as a port for lakeside tourist travel. But the quiet seaside village is a nice place to relax and enjoy a book or some hiking trails if you choose to stay for more than a weekend. Many visitors use Copacabana as a stopover between the end of their journey in Bolivia and the beginning of their travels into Peru; if you are planning on spending time in both countries, Lago Titicaca is the best way to traverse the cross-country border. 

Our return bus ride to La Paz wasn't nearly as remarkable as our initial trip, except for the fact that we managed to miss our first bus by waiting in the wrong plaza! Copacabana has two main pradas; buses generally arrive in the main plaza in town (Plaza 2 de Febrero), but depart from the smaller plaza further downtown toward the lake itself. When leaving Copa, be sure to know which plaza you are meant to be in!

Once back in La Paz, we walked the short distance to the terminal de buses, a large yellow building with a decorated grassy knoll out front. Finding the terminal building is easy enough, and most people will be happy to give you walking directions if you ask politely. Ticket in hand (Bs 70 / $10), I stocked up for the 7+ hour ride at one of the little stands littering the terminal and boarded a 3.30 bus at around 4 p.m. Even the more "high-end" bus companies don't always supply working bathrooms on-board, so take advantage of any pit stops the bus makes during this long journey between La Paz and Cochabamba. Be sure to bring entertainment and/or prepare yourself for a long nap, as the trip is not a short one. My bus didn't reach Cocha until 12.30 (about an hour and a half later than expected), and from the bus drop-off you'll want to find a reliable radio taxi to take you to wherever you are staying in town. Taxis from the bus terminal will cost more than a taxi in town, and the general fee is around Bs 15 ($2) as opposed to Bs 8-10 ($1-1.50). 

Overall feeling about the trip to Copacabana and Lake Titicaca? Worth the hassle for what will probably be a once-in-a-lifetime experience. Copa is one place in Bolivia you'll want to add to your itinerary, if for no other reason than to be able to use the word 'Titicaca' in conversation without being looked at like a total pervert. Just try not to giggle when you say it…too much.